Taking care of myself

me

It’s Memorial Day! A three day weekend is exactly what I needed. About three weeks ago, something quite significant happened. It’s still ongoing, and if I’m being honest, I’m unsure of what will come of it all. I am a firm believer in that good will always win and that it’s best to be open and honest. However, I also realize that sometimes you can’t witness good winning (or karma happening). Sometimes that comes over time and you may not even be around when it happens. And you know what? It’s a challenge! Relying on blind faith and knowing the Universe has my back is hard. On the flip side, it’s really opened me up in a way I don’t think I’ve opened up. It was an invitation to really take a look at myself and my surroundings. What am I doing right now? Is what I’m doing in this moment helping and/or guiding me to somewhere I plan (or would like) to be in the near future? Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.

In the moments of feeling uneasy, I’m also feeling motivated because I realize how much I want change in this area. It’s also scary. You know, the great unknown.

I spent today grocery shopping. Foods that are delicious and also good for me. Planning out my meals this week. I took time to paint my nails and listened to a podcast. And while these things seem hum-drum things for some, for me it’s truly self-care. These are things I wouldn’t do for myself regularly because on some subconscious level I decide I’m not important enough to make time for. So quick and fast food it is and zoning out to a TV show that doesn’t challenge my brain until I’m asleep.

Self-care and mental health are so important to me. I spend so much time on it in my job and with those around me. Yet, I’m lacking when it comes to myself.

As mentioned, I’m struggling with making the right choices. How do I know if I do this that it’s the right decision for the future? How am I confident that I’ll be OK if I decide on that? Trusting my intuition and heart can be challenging for me because I like to have instant results and for things to be easy. But that’s not how life is.

This book came in the mail. Addressed to me. I was confused – I’m not 100% certain why this marketing manager chose to send this. But it was exactly what I needed. A book about true stories involving courage and risk. Facing the unknown. The Universe really knows how to nudge you, huh?

book

So, here we are. June is on the rise and tomorrow is the start of new, short week. I find myself repeating something my guides have told me, “Keep moving forward” and then I read a note from the Universe:

Rising suns and babbling brooks.  

Tropical forests and sleeping meadows.  

Modern marvels and scientific breakthroughs. 

Exciting discoveries and limitless frontiers.  

Devoted friends and caring strangers.  

Lives and loves and souls to hold so close, one’s own heart could burst. 

Can you even count the splendors, Alex?
    The Universe

I’m still awaiting something good coming from the last entry. And I know something is coming. I can feel it in my bones.

“Keep moving forward, Alex”. 

Love, love.

My life in pictures: Instagram

Tweets: Love, Light, and Alex

My last post: Seven, Psychics, and Feelings, Oh My!

 

seven, psychics, and feelings, oh my!

“You deserve to be in spaces and relationships that make you happy. That feed your soul and help you grow. You are worthy of connections that are loving, nourishing, kind, and authentic. So before you settle for anything less than, remind yourself that the places you visit, and the people you journey with through life, should make you feel safe, loved, and enough. ” – Alex Elle

I was chatting with my co-worker during a down moment in our office. I confided in her how I couldn’t get this moment and person out of my head. I needed to know more, more, more. I also found it odd that this moment I was thinking of coincided with another moment seven years prior.

“I feel like seven is significant here. Like… you need to figure out what seven means. In the bible it symbolizes completion. I’m pretty sure … hold on, let me Google it!” She went on to read about people who are number sevens (numerology).

I thought these traits sounded familiar, but I felt like we were getting off track. I asked her if she even knew what numerology was and she shrugged and said, “No… what is it?” I laughed and explained and then we looked up her number. It was eerily accurate. “I need to know what your’s is now!” I added everything up and we looked at each other, “Seven”. She grabbed my hands, “SEVEN. ALEX, YOU ARE THE SEVEN!” you would’ve thought she saw a ghost.

Turns out the person I can’t get out of mind is also a seven. And the events? Seven years a part.

Now, my great grandmother was a native healer in her time and did tarot readings. A gift that she claimed to be passed down to my mother and then me. When I read that sevens are spiritual and their need to know more and psychic abilities, I couldn’t help but think of my Mom, Grandmother, and Great Grandmother. When I got home I immediately did the math and my mom and Grandmother are both sevens.

This coupled with just feeling different lately – I mentioned this in my last post. I felt like I needed some new crystals and have just been having these feelings of change. Something new yet familiar is coming up. And honestly? While I feel like I may have a clue, I also truly don’t have a clue.

Don’t you ever get that feeling? Like something huge is about to happen? Something good and great? Like, you can feel it in your bones and in your being? But what? What is it?? I just wanna know!

Oh, life. Help a girl out, will ya!

 

We don’t deserve health care!

I am exhausted. Anyone else??

Yesterday might have been one of the most depressing days yet. We took healthcare away from 24 million Americans. I type “we”, but then I think, “Don’t include me in that hatred!”

It absolutely hurts my heart and my core to see people getting treated as if they’re less than. It leaves me confused. It leaves me disheartened and discouraged. It leaves me enraged and in fear.

How can people think this is right? That this is OK? I have a shirt from several years ago from Amnesty International that says, “Health care is a human right!” and it’s so nuts that this is still relevant.

In other news, my local radio station was talking about Cinco de Mayo this morning and asked Mexican and Mexican-Americans their take on the holiday and if it’s offensive to wear mustaches, ponchos, sombreros, etc. I decided to text in because- duh. Yes, that shit is offensive. And ignorant. Especially now – you know – while our government is trying to build a wall. Ugh.

Y’all. THE RADIO STATION BLOCKED ME. I wasn’t rude. I did what they asked the audience to do. All I could do was laugh as how asinine it was. So, now I’m in search of something to listen to in the mornings that’s positive and uplifting. If you got anything, I’m all ears.

Tomorrow I’m going to spend the entire day at Disney and it’s supposed to be gorgeous outside. I can’t wait to spend the day in the sun, eating delicious treats, and spending the day laughing with the best people.

I still have to be careful though since I’m a pre-existing condition now and soon won’t be able to afford the doctor. Am I being too much? Nah. Heavy on the eye roll.

Happy weekend! But really… be careful out there.

Last week was weird.

Hold up. Actually, … April was weird. April showers?

Given that April is my birthday month and despite the awful things I’ve experienced in April, I always look forward to it. But this year? April was throwing me all kinds of crap.

The first week I was bed ridden with an upper respiratory infection and sinus infection. I’d never experienced head pain like that before and to top if off, I didn’t realize I had developed an allergy to amoxicillin thus sending my body into hell. There was a moment where I’m pretty sure death seemed like a better option.

Due to me missing so much work and needing to catch up, I then decided I would work eight days in a row, ten hours a day straight. STRAIGHT. I feel like no one should work that much unless you’re like, saving lives. And I can assure you I’m not in that line of work.

That took me straight into my birthday weekend. I’ve spoken about this on past blogs, but I’ve just never really gotten into my birthday, and then I really fucked it all up when I found out I was pregnant one year days after my birthday. It feels like nothing I do ever goes right or feels right. But I will say this year it was a lovely day. Super low key which is my style. We had breakfast at a character breakfast at a Disney resort and spent the day frolicking around the Magic Kingdom.

Of course following my birthday week was the dreaded week. I wrote about it here if you’re interested. On top of memories, triggers, and trauma I had to deal with the DMV. So you know, more Hell on Earth.

Before I knew it, I was slapping April on the toosh goodbye with the good ol’ Justin meme, “It’s gonna be MAY”. See ya next year, girl!

I did get some new crystals one of those weeks. I’ve spent the last week of April setting my intentions, spending time inviting things I need and want into my life, asking the Universe to guide me, and I can feel something good coming from it.

Maybe April showers do bring May flowers. 😉