I wasn’t able to blog last Sunday, and I was a little bummed out over it! This weekend has been fun! I’ve really been playing around with redecorating my room. With my birthday coming up, my Mom surprised me and got me the bed frame I was eyeing. We spent all day yesterday putting it together. We laughed, we cried, we yelled, and then laughed some more. Oh, IKEA. You really know how get people all of their emotions. I loved getting to spend time with my Mom though!
Anyway, I don’t have a particular topic swirling in my mind today. I want to just type whatever pops up.
Lately my birthday is on my mind. Everyone is asking what I’m doing and I have no idea. It’s less than a month away. My birthday has never been a very fun time for me. I can think back to when I was a little girl and there isn’t one birthday memory that comes to mind. I feel like that seems a little sad because who wants to imagine a little girl getting depressed on or around her birthday. That was all me and my mental health though I think. My family was amazing when I was growing up and I had birthday celebrations.
I do remember a slumber party in elementary school. I remember turning 21 and having no interest in drinking, but I did go to Homosassa Springs and frolic around in nature. For my 25th birthday I went to Vegas. That was probably my most celebrated birthday, but even then I technically went because I was invited along to a friend’s brother’s wedding and I got the flu. I did have fun, but it wasn’t everything it could be because of how sick I ended up getting.
When I turned 24, I had probably the most life changing birthday. That will be for another Raw Honey Sunday. But ever since that birthday they’ve really never been the same. Last year I didn’t do anything. There’s this pressure of doing something spectacular and the time leading up to it and then it always seems to be a let down (I feel this way about Christmas, too). So last year I opted to do nothing and it was great.
There’s pressure for the big 3-0 though. And I’m getting anxious. I want to do something but I’m scared of the letdown. I also feel like I want it to be the preview of my thirties. I just don’t have any good ideas! Dinner? Sure, but that’s it?? Do I go out and dance the night away? Ehh. What about a get away weekend? Ok, but where??
I need suggestions! I need help!
No matter what I do, it’s going to come. I think for me what I’m going to need to accept is that it’s OK if I do nothing or if I do something. Letting it go and letting whatever happen happen. No expectations! We’re gonna ride into thirty on a super gnarly wave and hang ten, dude.